the infinite fragmented datawaves of oXane

wearedeadpaper:

i never felt as helpless as i did when i was nine and you were ten
and you picked him over me and i saw you hold his hand and whisper
something that i didn’t hear but wished i did and then you hid
with him behind the old oak tree and i pretended not to care
which was silly because i cared a lot, and i thought about how
your hand would feel warm inside mine and i thought about the time
i sat close to you and i was scared, i could smell your hair
and it smelled like flowers and i wanted to scream out how you made me
dizzy inside my stomach and my head but i didn’t and instead i scribbled 

i have a secret for you 

with my finger into the sand of the sandbox but i knew you’d never see it
because it started to rain, which i thought was odd since it was still sunny
but it did, and my nose and eyes were all runny, and my face was all wet.